Harasser stalker: Some stalker types like to be the center of attention and may have an attention-seeking personality disorder; they may not be stalkers in the strict sense of the word but repeatedly pester anyone (especially anyone who is kind, vulnerable or inexperienced) who might be persuaded to pay them attention. If they exhibit symptoms of Munchausen Syndrome they may select a victim who they stalk by fabricating claims of harassment by this person against themselves.
Warning signs:
These are some of the signs to be alert to:
expects you to spend all of your time with him/her or inform him/her of your whereabouts
refuses to accept "no" for an answer
isolates you from your friends and/or family
puts you down in front of your family or friends
sends frequent unsolicited or unwelcome gifts
makes offers of unsolicited help
excessive niceness in the early stages
use of guilt to manipulate your feelings or to force you into courses of action you feel unhappy with
extreme jealousy
frequent loss of temper
following you wherever you go
threats
physical or verbal abuse
damage or destruction to your property
makes your family or friends feel scared or uneasy
Precautions to take:
The stalker exhibits a familiar pattern of behavior. Stalking often starts as a result of rejection; rejection rage and abandonment rage motivate the stalker to seek revenge through a predictable pattern of stalking behavior. The stalker, usually a loner and socially inept, becomes obsessed with their target and bombards them with messages, emails, gifts, or abuse. The stalking behavior can last for years and the intensity of abuse increases over time. The abuse, initially consisting of psychological violence, often escalates and culminates in physical violence.
If a stalker comes into your life, there are certain safety precautions to take:
Do not personally respond to the stalker's attention, not even to tell him (or her) to get lost. (People erroneously believe that a rational conversation will dissuade such people.)
Beef up your home security and in the event of a threatening letter or call, alert your local police so they have it on record. (The local police will often give a free home security consultation.)
Keep detailed documentation of all actual contacts.
If letters or calls persist, have an attorney send a registered cease-and-desist letter.
Keep travel plans to a trusted few.
In the event of actual trespass, get a restraining order.
Keep a camera handy for photographic documentation.
Don't accept unexpected packages.
Avoid blaming yourself for the situation.
Refrain from retaliation or counter-threats; the stalker is seeking {any} form of contact.
Don't let the stalker rule your life.
Use caller ID and possibly get a second line with an unlisted number; then use the line on which he calls to record his harassment without him realizing that you're not using that phone.
Use a gender-neutral and non-provocative email address.
Don't give out your Internet password and change it regularly.
Use a chat network where harassment is not permitted.
For Internet chats, use a different screen name than your email address.
Don't give a lot of personal details to strangers.
Be aware that stalkers can employ others to get information about you.
